welcome to the jungle

I have a lot to write and catch ppl up on. But now is not the time. Its late. I'm kinda tired. I just felt like writing though. Though I don't always write here, for some reason I felt why the heck not. Today I woke up in a great mood. Well tired of course, I always am. But once i'm up for awhile I'm good. The weather was great and I was feeling good. Coming off a good weekend. And morning at work went well. The afternoon though...not so much. Well not that it was bad. Really, I'm just really hard on myself sometimes. Much much more than I need to be for sure. But I think thats fine. Only way I'll improve on things is if I want it. I was hard on myself this afternoon. I got a bit (more than a bit) upset at myself and in general. But I'm alright. And things aren't bad. And tomorrow I get back up and go to work. And I'll steal a line from Brent. I am determined to succeed. When I think about it, really I am the only person that can really make me succeed and really make myself fail. I have to make sure I do the right things and also don't let myself bring myself down either. Alright, so ok thats good. I like to leave off on a positive note. And I do feel positive right now. Overall. k, i'm thirsty. A drink and then to bed. I bid thee all, adieu.

Pictures from NY & DC

Stories will follow later, including the Producers, scalped Knicks tickets, rainy days in brooklyn, food galore, and of course the crazy woman that pulled out a knife behind me in mcdonalds in Washington. Til then, enjoy the pictures. =) Random NY pic Rasheed in Times Square Me in Times Square Oh, me again Skating rink at Rockefeller Centre Rasheed figuring out the subway system, poor guy was so lost :P Part of NY sky line NY at night from atop the Empire State building And another And now with me One more k, last one Myself at the Knicks game Myself and Rasheed sitting back enjoying the game Woohoo Go KNICKS (but Raptors will always be my #1 team) Alia would love this... In DC by Capital Hill DC is cold too, brr... Rasheed with some random statue Myself and Rasheed in DC The MOMA

yes, of course i can.

Alright, so I should be talking about my cousin Rasheed's visit to NYC but I'll do that next time. This is just other stuff I felt like blogging about. I like U2. I have the song Elevation stuck in my head as of late. I was blogging and then so many distractions from ppl. sigh. ok this will have to be quicker than i thought. So this week Brian from Rochester office is here cause the company, TowerData is having a bunch of meetings all week on the companies goals. Discussing all facets of the company like Marketing, Sales, Positioning, New Product Development, product extensions, financials, like everything. But first we had a marketing meeting on one product called SpamExam. I talked to most of friends about it already. Discussing possible alternative names and whatnot because we had decided to change the name. Now last week Tom (the president), Brian, and I had already had some talks and made a short list of new nmes. The plan to finalize this week. So I go into the meeting and I'm quiet at first (just my style, i'm still working on it). But then I take my notes and am like. Ok so these are the names we had. I don't like this, this, this this or this. These are alright. And these are the new names I thought of. This is the name I think we should go with. This is the product suite name. This is how brands should be presented to the user. In this format and this format And in this order. and this is why this would work. And this is why this wouldn't work. And well I think I'm making it sound more impressive than it really was. Wasn' that much at all. But still, it felt really cool. And was a lot of fun. And they agreed. So yeah cool! The new name is now Content Consultant btw. hmm...what else happened... taking the F train home, the train guy said since we are running behind schedule the train will be running express. Awesome! that means only 2 stops instead of like 8 to my station! yay! its the small things i went to work out. it was ok. my right arm...i don't know. its all messed up. i might get that checked out when i finally get insurance. probably next couple weeks i'll get insurance. hopefully my arm doesn't just like fall off or something. overall i don't know. the day left me in a good mood though. Today was a bunch more meetings. Not as successful as yesterday for me personally. but still good productive meetings. And they are fun. It really really is cool. To sit there and really have say in the direction of the company. How it position and markets itself as a whole. How it achieves such goals. Who we target too. What products we go forward in enhancing, how to sell and market those. And long term strategy and its just like wow, this is so cool. I'm apart of everything and I really get to see things from the point of idea conception, spec'ing, development, to selling. Its fun. And the ppl are nice. Now I just need my raise which I will be dicussing in my review this week or next. Inshaallah all goes well. And only if it were warm here. I need warmer weather! Today was also the company dinner, that was nice. To be able to talk to the team in a more social environment. They can learn more about me (big) and me them. And swap stories. And its just nice and fun. And dinner was great too. NY restaurants are awesome. Not cheap, but awesome. In my last post I said I dont really get much encouragement. And well that isn't entirely accurate. I don't believe I get many much of hey, you're doing great, keep it up, keep pushing, almost there, you'll do excellent, etc type of encouragement. BUT I do have quite a few ppl that tell me I'm amazing, Or I rock, Or I'm a great friend, or I'm a genious, or they see me being really successful, and various things like that. And I know ppl have strong belife in me and also expectations of me because of those beliefs. And that is probably one reason I have a very strong belief in myself. Actually, its weird. I have a strong long term belief in myself. Part of my idealism? In the short run, I do think of myself of a bit dumb or not capable. Well no, but yes, and I guess its confidence and pumping myself up. It fluctuates. There is still more to say, but I can't think right now what. Next time part 4 with pictures. Till then. oh 1 last thing, well 2 last things. Number of reasons its been on my mind. But well, I know my Nani use to pray so much for me. I really do feel less confident, weaker even, without those prayers. I feel like those prayers saved me from disaster many times. I know I get many prayers from others of course. My parents, sister, and my Nana and Dada for sure as well. I don't know. Its just kind of scary though to think. That one day (hopefully far in the future) it will really be up to me to pray for myself. Its scary. I don't do enough. I can do more, I need to do more. I'll leave off with a story. Often times in life, we get lost. We have all these things we want to do. That we feel are important. Our goals and dreams, our little to do lists, the trips we plan, the ppl we see, the careers we want, the movies to see, the excercise to do, i don't know. so many things. We have to maintain a perspective though. Whats really important? Once a man saw in his dream, that a lion was chasing him. The man ran to a tree, climbed on to it and sat on a branch. He looked down and saw that the lion was still there waiting for him. The man then looked to his side where the branch he was sitting on was attached to the tree and saw that two rats were circling around and eating the branch. One rat was black and the other one was white. The branch would fall on the ground very soon. The man then looked below again with fear and discovered that a big black snake had come and settled directly under him. The snake opened its mouth right under the man so that he will fall into it. The man then looked up to see if there was anything that he could hold on to. He saw another branch with a honeycomb. Drops of honey were falling from it. The man wanted to taste one of the drops. So, he put his tongue out and tasted one of the fallen drops of honey. The honey was amazing in taste. So, he wanted to taste another drop. As he did, he got lost into the sweetness of the honey. Meanwhile, he forgot about the two rats eating his branch away, the lion on the ground and the snake that is sitting right under him. After a while, he woke up from his sleep. To get the meaning behind this dream, the man went to a pious scholar of Islam. The scholar said "The lion you saw is your death. It always chases you and goes where ever you go. The two rats, one black and one white, are the night and the day. Black one is the night and the white one is the day. They circle around, coming one after another, to eat your time as they take you closer to death. The big black snake with a dark mouth is your grave. It's there, just waiting for you to fall into it. The honeycomb is this world and the sweet honey is the luxuries of this world. We like to taste a drop of the luxuries of this world but it's very sweet. Then we taste another drop and yet another. Meanwhile, we get lost into it and we forget about our time, we forget about our death and we forget about our graves." May Allah wake us up from the sleep and save us before it's too late. Ameen."

a blather, but oh well

Alright, so this is post 3. The New Years Resolution stuff, sorta. Cause really its more of a whatever todays date resolution stuff. Man, I had a bunch of things I wanted to write this morning. I didn't wake up in the greatest of moods, but when I finally pulled myself out of bed I was feeling good. Not many things beat a hot shower, you know when you just let the water beat down on you, and wear its so hot that it almost hurts. Anyhow, I was going to talk about this past year, hmm...i think i said this already in post#1. hmm....so yeah, now i'm not. oh yes, the Sometimes. I don't swear, but sometimes, I really wish I did. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Sometimes I hate that I'm all alone. Sometimes, I want to do things that I know are wrong, but I remember they are wrong and I remember who I am and I can not. Sometimes people bother me/let me down/make me stop trusting them, so much and I don't know why I let them do so to me repeatedly. Sometimes I just really want to go far away from where I am. This morning I kind of felt that a lot. Its just a passing whim, but hey, if anyone knows of any job oppurtunities in Europe or Asia let me know :) Preferably on contract and min of 6 months though. Just a passing whim though. I want to be somewhere warmer! Sometimes I want to get into a fight, like a real fight. Or I want to break something, I want to go out and scream and let things out. People tell me that I'm going to explore or snap one day b/c I bottle stuff up. sometimes when i fall, i just want to lie on the floor/ground for a bit and i can't recall what else was on my mind so i'll stop there For this coming year and the future what i want to change, or what some of my goals are: I want to be a better person. I know I can do more than what I'm doing now. In all aspects. I have to try harder to be outgoing, and firm, and vocal. I will stand up for myself more. I will not allow ppl to get away with stuff against me. I've stated this before, the last 2 years actually. But I will not waste my time with people that do not truly care about me. Time is a valuable commodity, and I should spend it with those that really matter in my life. I will work harder and more productively. I will waste less time. Cutting out all or at least most tv. Spend more time reading. And I will start seriously studying I will eat healthier foods. And Hopefully in a healthier manner. I'll cook more! I'll go to the gym an average of 3-4 times a week. I will do what I want to do, even if I have to do it alone. I will not feel embarassed or scared or awkward, or at least I will not let it stop me. I will do more good. I'll just be better. I know I can do more. For myself, for my friends, for my family, and for society. Actually, out of all the things that happened in the last year. One thing that has troubled me, one of the things that I think about often, and that I think about even in my dreams sometimes, is I have so much and I've given so little to charity. 2005 is gone for ever. 2006 is the year of Ahmed, incase you didn't know. This is my year. And I will force myself to make the most of it. To try new things and to push myself. Truthfully, I don't feel like I get much encouragement from anyone. But I know that people have great expectations of me and belief in me and wish me well. I have those same things myself, but its up to me to get things done. You have to work for what you want, you have to try for it, and try hard, never give up. And I can say this all I want. I can complain about this and that. And wait on this or that, which sadly I feel I still have to, to some extent. But not for all things! I need to start doing. Just doing the things I'm interested in, and things that will benefit me long term as well. and ok, i'm just rambling and any msg i was giivng has lost its potency, dah well. most ppl probably don't read this far anyhow. have you taken a risk lately? have you pushed yourself? Can you do more? things to constantly ask yourself

1 more pic

Grr...almost a perfect post. This pic got left behind. A few of my cousins (haha still not all of them) at Aisha's Shadi.

Pictures!!!

Here's part 2. A bunch of pic's from the past. I couldn't include everyone, but I think I did get a lot of you. There have been some bad times of course, but there have certainly really really great times. I'm sad that some things can't be relived, but I look forward to all the great times still ahead. Here are some pictures in fairly random order. Yo Benson, Whatsup Hanging out at the CS House. Just chilling, haha. haha, Montreal was so much fun. Eating at Weavers. Jenise & I out for lunch. On the steps of MC Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad! My family & I Myself, my Nani, Umber, and my Nana aww, Ali & Adil The guys pulling a prank on me and switching my room with the livring room. Click to see the larger picture. The Grad party at my house in waterloo. Back on the courts at v1 Outside DC Out for sushi! Adil, Caitlin, & I at Caitlins for a convocation afterparty. My CousinBrothers and I. Seiji, James, Omar, & I at C-Lounge. Sarah, Zeba, Myself, and Fatima.

part 1 of 4

So its been awhile. Yesterday night I really wanted to blog, but for some reason I couldn't get in, so frustrating. argh. But I'm now aren't I? So like I said, its been awhile. I got a lot to catch everyone up on. So this will be a sequence of posts. I'll try to space it out by 2-3 days. Something along the lines of: 1) Decemeber trip back home 2) Pictures from the past 3) New Years resolution 4) Rasheed visiting me here in NYC Alright, so today is December stuff. It seems already a long time ago that I was home. I was home for about 8-10 days or so, so I got to spend a lot of time with mostly everyone. I saw a ton of movies while I was back or just before then. Narnia King Kong Memoirs of a Geisha Wolf Creek Brokeback Mountain Capote Fun with Dick and Jane I went bowling (gordon exploded for a huge game of 148, i mean gordon? 148? who would have thought haha). Went for pool a few times, demetres of few times, east sides a few times, bombay chopsticks, Tim Hortons!, can't even remember what else. But a lot of fun with friends and family and my cousins. Boxing day was fun, I went a bit crazy with the dvd shopping buying 8 new dvds. Funny dvds are pretty much all I bought during boxing day/week. Well I did actually I did buy 2 other things. 1 my dads birthday present and 1 other gift for one of my friends, though I wasn't able to give it so then it became a gift to myself which my mom then has borrowed from me. New Years was a quiet night. Its always a last minute thing with me. My initial plans never seem to work out. I went out with some friends for some pool, then just chilled at a friends house playing some games and stopping to watch tv near the 10 sec countdown. It was very relaxed and enjoyable. I actually didn't take many pictures at all during my trip. strange. I was able to see Omar and Aamir for a short time the evening I left. That was great. They had both gone on trips so it was lucky to be able to see them at all. I think they had got back just like the day before. We just chilled at Omar's place just catching up and talking about random things. I can't think of what more I want to say about that trip. It was overall, a very good trip. Today is Eid as well. Eid Mubarak everyone. One of my friends sent me this email. I think I'll share it here. Take care all. I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received." I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world. Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them." I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard in that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packed for delivery to Earth. Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgement Section," my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. "How is it that? There's no work going on here?" I asked. "So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgements". "How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked. "Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, "'ALHAMDULILLAHE RABBIL AALAMEEIN, Thank you, Lord'." What blessings should we acknowledge? "If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world. "If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. "And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity." Also..."If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day." "If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ...you are ahead of 700 million people in the world." "If you can attend mosque or attend religious meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture ordeath ... you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you are unique to all those in doubt and despair." If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special, and, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all. Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are. "And Remember your Allah/Lord has declared that, 'If you are grateful then I (HE) will add more favors unto you'". (Ibrahim 14:7)

I'm back.

So we were having the NYC transit strike. A big big pain. I won't go into the details but I'm not on the unions side. Though my opinion is based on the news articles I read, who knows how much the full story they tell. Anyhow, I was forced to work from home. That I thought would be relaxing, but really, it isn't. Its hard to work from home and cumbersome too sometimes. I'm a ton more productive at work. The one good thing was that if I'm forced to work from home, I might as well work from home in Sauga. So I left a day earlier than planned. My bus leaves Port Authority at 845. I went to the car service people at 130pm to arrange a car. They are like no problem, just call us as 6pm. So I call at 530. I'm sorry we're all booked, click. Ahh!!! I need a cab. I decide ok, I should just leave now. I pack a couple more last minute things and I'm out the door by just before 6. I go outside and walk a couple blocks to the next car service ppl. I'm hoping they can help me out otherwise its gonna take me 3hrs to walk to port authorty. I go there and YES they can give me a lift. I wait there 20mins and then we leave. They pick up a few more ppl on the way (just the way it is with the strike). But traffic is packed! Its nuts! After picking up people, I notice it is now 640 and I am exactly 1 block from my apartment. Listening on the radio in the car, Avenues 1& 2 are fully jammed. Actually entire east side is backed up. West is a mess by avenue 10&11 are going alright. Every bridge is jammed, except Holland Tunnel since its hard just to get to holland tunnel. But the driver was good, we did a round about route taken 11th avenue and got to Port Authority by a bit before 8. So its was fine. Normally by subway, this would take me 35mins. Anyhow, I take the bus home, it was rather uncomfortable and cold. The heating system on the bus was broken. And I didn't really sleep much at all. I got to Toronto at 720am. Got home, had some cereal and then went online for a full day of work. man oh man, so exhausted. I stayed up later than I should have that night too. I went to bed, and fell asleep before evening closing the lights. A deep deep sleep. oh so nice. I woke up around 9. turned the lights off, put my book that i had originally planned to read on the shelf and went back to bed. Woke up around 11. Friday night, yesterday. I went to Jenise's house where she was having a potluck. I haven't seen her for at least 8 months, and i'm not sure but its possible I just haven't seen her this year. crazy. Anyhow, played a bit of poker, I lost coming in 4th of 6th. Played War with Benson. Man, fastest game of WAR ever! Benson getting lucky and stealing my Aces...grr..After that Benson and I went to Demetres to meet up with Gordon and Loretta. It was fun catching up a bit and just talking and hanging out. I don't get to do that enough in NY. I also got a lot of compliments on my appearance which was cool and just also put me in a good mood. Today, I'm going out to dinner with my cousins at Ming Room. And then? not sure, a movie or something with them. Its nice to be back home. Its nice to be able to make plans to do something everyday. Its nice to sleep in a real bed. I'm having pretty deep sleeps. And some interesting dreams. Some good....some not so good... Dec 30th, going bowling and maybe dinner or something with friends. Contact me if you're interested in going as well. Oh, oh. I past 2000 hits and then some. But stupid 2000th person never left a comment! BOOOO. Don't be shy people. You know, some people (more than 1 easily) tell me they don't leave comments cause they don't know my other friends or anyone else that I know. Um...So what? This is my blog, just leave a comment. Some ppl say they don't leave a comment cause they talk to me directly. Thats cool. I do prefer direct communication...so ok, thats cool. Anyways, the 3000th person better leave a comment when the time comes!

I didn't do it.

Wow, I'm at 1987 hits! 2000 hit person better leave a comment! Counter is on the right hand column if you hadn't noticed! And they get a prize! (Don't worry Benson, I remember I still owe you a chocolate bar too). Alright so whats going on with me lately. Last week was super busy at work, hence the lack of blog updates. I handed in a self-review to Tom which we'll be discussing later this week to decide on my bonus. And then we'll be doing a full review (where others and himself review me) in January to talk about Salary. Should be fun =). I have to review 3 other ppl myself by later this week. Thats not so much fun. I saw King Kong. I didn't know what to expect at all cause I've seen neither the original or the remake, but I really liked it. I want to see the new Jim Carey movie (did I spell his name right?) coming out this friday now. That was Saturday night. When I saw the movie. During the day, Anojan invited some of his co-workers over for a sort of christmas party. They were all very nice ppl and it was fun. The games we played were cool. Not at first though. Cause we're all tech geeks. And well, describing them we kinda (well not me) became geekier. We were playing a couple games and in explaining the rules ppl aren't understanding at first. So then a couple people are think of token passing algorithm. And someother is like no no, its public and private keys. The best analogy though really is tcp/ip protocols in message passing with awk and awk back. So yeah, half the ppl were talking about that and the other half were groaning about the analogies. It was fun though. We played a game called 7 and then we played Mafia. Mafia is a game where there is a killer in the group and the group has to figure out who it is before the killer kills everyone. Anojan WITHOUT FAIL accused me each and every round! Half the people left before we started so we only had 8 or so ppl for the game, but it was still a lot of fun. Hopefully we can play again sometime. oh oh, there was one point during the game 7. ok there is 1 guy in the middle, Ian, who wasn't aware of what was going on because Ian has to count with his eye closed at the start (no its not hide and seek). And then 1 guy behind him does something and EVERYONE starts luahging. So Ian stops and is like what happend? And Alex says while laughing, someone just did the dumbest stupidest thing. And Ian turns right to ANOJAN and says his name with a question. And everyone bowls over laughing cause it was Anojan. I would explain what but its hard to without explainging the game so i won't bother. I found out Jenise is taking snobbing to a new level. She waits to visit the place I move til when I'm coming back home and wont' be there. Such a snob! This week should go by quickly. I have a lot of work. Tuesday I have the regular developers meeting and marketing meetings to attend. Then at night I'm meeting one of my friends and going to the bookstore at union square. Wednesday is a slightly shorter day (til 530 still) cause its the office christmas dinner. Then Thursday I'm returning back back! I leave Thursday night and I'll be back Friday morning! Til Jan 2nd. Let me know your plans ppl! I want to be doing something every day. I don't plan to rest very much. My cousin Rasheed might return with me to NY to hang out for a few days so that will be cool. Meaning even less rest when I come back, but its cool. I'm looking forward to finally doing a few things in NY I haven't had the chance to do yet. Tomorrow might be the start of a NY transit strike though. Which means no running subways. That sucks! As much as working from home would be kinda chill (and really I think I would get a ton done) it would mean I can't get anywhere. I'm totally dependent on public transportation here! And its not easy to get a cab in Brooklyn. Manhattan a cinch but Brooklyn, not so much. So I'd have to figure out a way to get to Port Authority on Thursday to take the GreyHound to toronto. Also my plans for tomorrow and wednesday would be kind of shot then. Blah, well we'll see what happens. I was talking to some co-workers while we all walking to Quiznos for lunch. And I mentioned how I want a thinner jacket. Like a black wool jacket or something. And then they are like oh, its not cold enough for the canadian, you want a light jacket, maybe just wear a t-shirt or something. haha, if they only knew how i compare to pretty much everyone and dont' like the cold. sometimes you do wonder, is it worth it? i haven't excercised in awhile. quite awhiel. its cause i hurt my arm. its almost 100% better now but it still hurts in certain positions if i put presssure on it. so i decided i'll just work out again once i return after holidays. i'm eating bad foods though. however! i'm not eating very much at all. like very little. so overall i think my calorie intake isn't bad. i've been living off of like 1.5-2 meals a days. usually 1 normal one. and then peanut butter or turkey breast cold cut sandwiches. and/or ice cream. =) i had the poor ukraine guy working til 2-3am his time on friday. I told him we are rolling out to production and I need these bugs closed today. But i recommended he get 80% of his bonus this month so its good. I think i feel like eating some ice cream now. I'm kinda getting hungry again. And I ask myself oh why oh why Bono one of times man(men) of the year? cool I have 200 pages left in my book. And I have 4 books sitting waiting for me to be read. And theres 3 books more on my mind that i want to read. Although i want to go out when i go home. i'm gonna spend a lot of time reading too. i want to finish 2 books while i'm at home.

and then there was 1

I'm tired. This will be a short update. Sunday I did laundry, no that was saturday. Sunday I did groceries. And went to the gym. And watched Survivor. Its over now. Stephane lost (YES!) and Danni won (not bad). Now the only show I watch is Apprentice. And theres only 1 more episode of that left. After that....I don't know. I might just give up tv watching. There is nothing I really feel the need to watch. And I do feel the need to read or go watch movies which I don't do as often as I use to. Monday, was work. I had a talk with Ukraine guy cause I wasn't happy with his communication (or lack thereof). Then had a long meeting with Romania guy. There was a group review meeting in the afternoon. I have to review 4 guys and 3 (or more) will review me. Results sent off and consolidated then we'll get it back in early Janurary. I also talked to Tom about a few other things that I want to dicuss. I'll see what he says. My last email was around 830 and everyone else had already left the office. I was there late tonight b/c I wanted to send Romania guy an updated spec but had spent time talking to him in the morning, then testing the work of Romania guy and other work in the afternoon so I didn't get started on it til late. Funny cause that was the 1st document I opened in the morning too. The first thing I had wanted to finish. Oh well. I was working then around 730pm, Caitlin calls me and says she's in town. She came for a shoe sales. So I said I have to work for awhile and she said she'll shop for awhile and call me back. I do some more work and then leave around 830. I meet up with her and one of her friends in China town and we have dinner and talk. Afterwards her friend and her head back to the train station and I had home. Try to buy some home supplies on my way home but its past 10 and the stores nearby are closed. I don't feel like walking further out, its cold. So get home, change check my mail (my real mail, not email). And then sit down. Probably started around 11-1130 and its 130am now. Finally finished and email out! Kinda feeling tired. Knowing I should sleep, but I didn't get a enough just chill time so I wish I could stay up. I want some ice cream actually. But none here. oh well. I could read but i know id read only a few pages before feeling really tired. i have a few emails to respond to as well. I'll do so during lunch tomorrow. I've pretty much decided i'm taking the bus home on the 22nd. So I'll be free to do things from the 23rd to the 1st. I have to send my laptop in for repairs once i get home so best way to get a hold of me will be my cell. its still the same old 416 number. I only have a week. I know the time will fly. Probably wont' get to see everyone either, but oh well. Let see what happens. Let me know what days are best for you guys. Til next time. a bumble bee beside me who knows not how she came to be wonders where she ought to be oh my, what a curiousity The thing is, a moment, only lasts for a moment.

Chim chimminy, chim chimminy chim chim cheree

I'm not really in the mood to blog, however, I have nothing else to do so...yep. Lets see, Thursday I was thought I was meeting some people to go to the New York Comedy Club. But nope, I guess it was a misunderstanding or something, I don't really know what happened. But nothing. But I got home in time to watch Survivor and Apprentice. Then I just went to bed early. Like before 12! I dont' even remember when I last went to bed before 1am. It was a nice sleep. I had an interesting dream. I was back home in Mississauga. And then I was at Pearson. I was leaving, and I was waving goodbye to my family and as soon they were out of sight, I woke up. I open my eyes. And my alarm clock is right infront of me. I stare at it for like 10secs or so and it goes off. Interesting dream and timing. Friday, I went to see Chronicles of Narnia with Anojan and his co-workers. I liked the movie. It was funnier than I expected. I don't recall any of the books anymore. I believe there are 4 or 5 of them. I read them long ago when I was in grade school. After that we went to the Comedy Club. Someone had free tickets. What are the odds? So yeah, went there. Food and drinks were ridiculously overpriced. 1 orange juice and small small plate of nachos with a side of cheese (like store bought nachos would be better) cost me $13. But considering the show was free I guess overall it was fine. I'm gonna be back from the winter holidays in Mississauga. Let me know soon ppl if you want to do something. I'm only take 1 week off. I have to renegotiate my contract at my company. I enjoy the work but I don't know, we'll see what happens. Its almost 50/50 I'd say what I'm going to do. I still get contacted now and again by other companies or guys seeing if I'm available. The latest for a 1 year contract in Seattle. Though I just told the guy I was unavailable and didn't talk about interviews or anything. I've talked to a few friends about this too. A lot of ppl are trying to figure out what they want, where they want to go, how they want to get there, and really just the balance for it all. Thats what I'm looking for. The balance. Today I did my laundry. Fascinating, Fascinating way to spend a Saturday in NY i know. I went to the gym as well. I'm retiring from the threadmill. It just doesn't agree with my knees. I like the crosstrainers much better. I did a new one today for 30mins. 350calories in 30mins, not bad eh? I'm so out of shape though. I went workout a bit after that. But only did 2 sets on the flatbench. My left arm was hurting. Almost a sharp pain. I figured I shouldn't push it and just went home. I was suppose buy shoes. Maybe tomorrow. I'm feeling kind of hungry right now. But what to eat? Raptors won today! Thats good. I'm getting tired of things. I get these moments of a lot of energy and wanting to take on the world. I guess this is a moment of the opposite. Just tired. I guess thats all I have to say for now. When the spent sun throws up its rays on cloud And goes down burning into the gulf below, No voice in nature is heard to cry aloud At what has happened. Birds, at least must know It is the change to darkness in the sky. Murmuring something quiet in her breast, One bird begins to close a faded eye; Or overtaken too far from his nest, Hurrying low above the grove, some waif Swoops just in time to his remembered tree. At most he thinks or twitters softly, 'Safe! Now let the night be dark for all of me. Let the night bee too dark for me to see Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

Paper Clips Yo! Paper Clips!

I'm in a pretty good mood. Work is going well, though still a lot of things to be figured out about that. I'm not happy with my weight, but I'm healthy, and i'm improving there. I'm gonna go to a check out a Comedy Club tomorrow (Thursday), Friday is Narnia! AND AND we got paper clips yo! Thats right paper clips! hehe, ok. so its not a huge deal. but i didn't have any at work for the longest time. And now I do. You don't know how much this will help. stacks and stacks of paper on my desk can now be organized into....papercliped stacks hehe. but seriously, this really was good. I just had a shower, ate some food. its 1215am. Um, I feel energized. Not tired. Not sleepy. I want to take on the world and I feel like working, as crazy as that sounds. I want to tackle my latest projects. I'm sure i'll feel differently in the morning, when I'm all tired and stuff. You know what, I'm almost suffering withdrawl. I kind of miss coding. Its fun. I also miss web development. But I like what I'm doing more. I'm gonna compensate by just making my newer specs even more technical inshaallah. heh, just write out some stuff in pseudocode. Funny story. But I can't write it here. Cause some people that read this. Aren't allowed to know this story. I wonder if I need to give the ppl at work a gift or something for xmas. And what about the doormen. I guess I should probably get the doormen a card. Maybe just bring in a box of chocolates or something for xmas. I don't know. I need to buy a hat. I want to buy a jacket too. Did I talk about that already? I dont feel like checking. I want to buy a warmer tuque, and a thinner coat. I like the black/grey ones. But then those are so common now. I think I actually want soething without the front breast flaps though. More of a flat front. Maybe sherwani style. But if a it had a hood that would be cool too. First I need shoes though. Definitely shoes. I'm already starting to slip and slide when walking. Almost fell down the stairs going to the subway the other day too. k, i'm out. some last min msn'ing and then off to bed. g'nite all. On the rooftops shouting out, Baby I'm ready to go I'm back and ready to go From the rooftops shout it out!

its time for us to starting making some changes

Come on everybody, get it together. Ital pasta's going to take you away-eee-ah Sorry, that just popped in my head for some reason. meh, its better than meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow right? right? whatever. Yesterday (monday) was suppose to be a scary day. And I was all ready for it. Nervous and anxious of course, but ready. THEN my cousin Rasheed gives me some last minute tip causing me to delay til Wednesday. On one hand, sure I don't have to worry (as much) for a bit, on the other hand. Bigger hand, I really just don't want to delay. I perhaps could have today, but today is quite busy so it would be difficult. Tomorrow it is. InshaAllah it all works out well. My mom had some exciting news. I would get in trouble if I said what it is, and if you're reading this please don't say anything to anyone. But it sounds pretty cool. Kind of hard to imagine, and I can totally see a ton TON of complaints by certain people because of it. And it would be super tiring as well. Hopefully tomorrow goes well. My mom keeps impressing me. And then she just has to make the comment to rub it in (not really) to me as well :P But then I dont' believe anything is final yet anyways. Haha, this is all so vague, dah well. This past weekend I didn't do much. I went for like a 3hr walk on Saturday. Doing some chores, banking, book store shopping, exploring, grocery shopping, and I went to the masjid to ask some questions about seafood. But I wasn't able to talk to an actual Imam (like a priest) and the responses I did get seemed kinda fishy. pun intended :) . Sunday, I did some work from home until dinner. Went out to dinner with anojan to some restaurant locally. It was alright, meat was kinda dry. Worked out for a bit. I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I don't like that fact. Like I'm heavier than Darrin! Not that Darrin is fat or anything, but he's always been heavier than me. And at first I would say its not all muscle, cause I've definitely been stronger in my life, but now. You know what? I'm getting closer to my past peaks. Not quite there yet, but closer. however, still I'm too heavy. Though I don't mind how I look, if I think vainly for a moment. Well not happy, not entirely, but who ever is, but in certain regards, i feel good. I have lost 1 pound since i discovered how heavy i was so thats good. Ok, that was all at lunch. Then I got busy. So now I'm at home its like 1234am I should sleep. But I want to finish this up. Even though I don't really know what I want to say. I've been sticking various song lyrics that pop into my head. I don't feel like writing it up right now, but if I did, I would be putting Changes by Tupac around here somewhere. Mayor Hazel McCallion came in 2nd in the World Mayor 2005 contest. 1st was the mayor of Athens. I think thats pretty impressive. I found out I've been mixing up Romania Guy and Ukraine guy this whole time! Not by name of course, just the countries that they belong to. haha. I'm thinking of buying myself a jacket. But I'm not sure. Cause I kind of like those black/grey jackets. They look clean cut and professional. Problem is, everyone has them! I think I want something like that though. A thinner coat for sure. I wonder if I can find something with a hood. But a wool jacket with a hood? not easily done. hehe, my cousin rasheed is like, guy, you want to buy an IPOD, a jacket, go here and there, get your bonus first. get yourself a real bed. lol. can't really argue with him there. yeah, IPOD cause its easy to just go and picup at the store. bed would probably be my next thing. But of course, a few other things need to be settled first. I wonder....hmmm....hehe, no expanding on this. there was more to write. but i can't recall. and its nearly 1am. and i promised myself i'd get some sleep tonight. i haven't been sleeping nearly enough these last few days. so a goodnight to all of you. i'm sure i'll have stuff to blog about over the next few days.

Pictures!

Grand Central Station, where I take the train to New Haven. I think this is Caitlins favourite pose. Somehow I end up with what seems like a lot of these pictures. On the drive to Canada. Dinner at Jack Astors with some of the gang. Jessani, Ken, June, Myself, and haha Ben got cut off up top. Later that night some Setters at Jessani's house. Natasha and Shahzad. I think I surprised them. Adil and Jessani. Weekend flew by, Driving home now. Anojan: Noooo! I forgot Battlestar Galatica at home!!! Yesterday, I tried to go see the Tree Lighting at Rockefella Centre. I couldn't get through the mob. This is the crowd when I'm still 2 blocks away. I did get to see some very nice decorations at Macy's departmentstore though.