Rejected!

yay, only 2 more hrs til I take off! :) This has been a really good work week. Very busy, but productive and enjoyable. I finished my latest spec yesterday. Now I got a whole pile of other stuff to do. Including an accounting spec. Now they do have a system in place for that. But this is really going to automate a lot of things and its cool but .....man, my head is like overloaded with stuff trying to keep in mind all the different things that can happen. Why does accounting have to be so complicated. I find it interesting how things seem to happen in parallel so often. Parallel may not be the correct word but basically its a whole lot of coincidences that occur all the time. And truly I mean all the time. It can't be just me either. I think its just natural as these are the issues and topics thats on everyones mind and that everyone must deal with. I know I struggle to do everything I want to do. Although I've become much better at it. And I've stopped giving excuses. I mean, why not now. Its a good question with rarely a good answer. Zaina spent a lot of time the other day planning her schedule for the next few months. Farheen just posted a blog talking about the difficulties of finding time for everything. Determing what and who are our priorities in life. And really finding time for ourselves. And Darrin has been killing himself working night and day (literally) for work. Everyone struggles for balance. Although I have got better, I need to improve some more. Specifically evaluate my priorities because you know what, my time is valuable. Happy Birthday to Dania who celebrated her bday yesterday! I'm not sure if I'll blog this weekend....so Happy Birthday to my Mom!!! She'll kill me if I post her age, but her Birthday is this coming Monday. I'm giving her the best present ever, ME! hehe I'm coming home for the weekend :P I got rejected yesterday. No CitiBank American Airlines Platinum World Class CreditCard for me. :( My credit history is not long enough for them. Though I guess its good I do at least have some sort of credit history in the states now. And its not a big deal. I don't even use my Canadian credit card. But I really wanted to build up my airmiles. And I have a lot of expenses coming. Plus on signing up I could have got up to 20,000 airmiles. By the end of August I should already have about 7,500 airmiles. Maybe more if I go to ISNA which I'm really thinking about. I haven't visited ppl in Chicago in like 5-6 years. And I've never gone to ISNA. Hopefully, its good. And not bad in the way I hear its sorta become. But yeah, 25,000 airmiles is a free flight. Oh well. I'll get it 1 day. I lost Mexico! :( haha. Farheen introduced me to the wonderful world of StatCounter. Though I've used the counter for ages, I never really checked the stats it gives. And I'm kinda looking at it more than I should be now. I had gone international! Getting hits from US, CDN, Mexico, Phillipines, and the UK. umm.....ok so 98% of traffic is US and CDN. I'm a geek and i just find it cool. But it only tracks the last 100 or so hits. So mexico is gone...oh well. k. marketing meeting time. later ppls. And the weekend is near....

Movies, Dreams, Stories

I'm watching American History X. I'm a little more than an hour into it. It is a good movie. Just as people told me it would be. Its a hard movie to watch though. A lot of racism. I'm a fan of Avery Brooks. There are somethings in the movie that you can take away as good. Hopefully there will be more as the movie continues. What have you done to improve your life? A question to think about. Repeatedly. Better things have happened. But I have a feeling. A dread. Something will still happen. The world is a messed up place. Good things are happening for a friend of mine. Or at least it seems things are heading that way. He's happy and I'm happy for him. Its a fun and exciting time. Perhaps one day I'll have that but for now at least I can enjoy his stories and him being happy. Edward Norton is a good actor too. I had a few interesting dreams last night. Ppl that I've never really thought about or from many years gone by popping up. So strange. I've been remembering more of dreams lately. I'm enjoying it. I made good choices in the dream, now to follow it up in real life. Something bad did happen. Sorry if this spoils any of the movie for those of you that haven't seen it. Its over now. I did enjoy it. I'm glad I bought it. I'm glad that we can learn from the past. And not let things from the past spoil other things. I'm really excited about buying some new books. I use to read a lot of science fiction. I started with star trek (TNG). I was a huge fan. heh, I probably own more star trek books than everyone else i know altogether has just read. But I branched out into other things. There is some great fiction and non-fiction stuff out there. I think people really should read more. And I don't mean text books. I mean real books. Real stories. Some books have such greath depth to them. And teach more than facts. They teach about life. And life lessons. And even when they don't go so deep. They make you think, and they inspire. Kite Runner was a really good book. I hear A Fine Balance is incredible as well. I'm going to try it out. I'll let you guys know. I'm also going to pick up some of the books I read back in highschool. Just b/c I enjoyed them. Its almost 130, I should sleep.

one fine day

90th post! Don't have much to say. Just today was a good day. I got a lot done at work though it just made me realize how much more I still have to spec out. But hopefully I can still finish it off tomorrow. I woke up early today before my alarm clock. Didn't really feel tired which was good. Don't feel really sick either so thats very good. I'm probably at like 95%. The weather was really nice and I had some good songs going so it was nice morning walk to work. Had no major issues today. No developers bugged me. I was able to just work away on my own stuff. So nice. And then I had class later and that went well. Got out early, train wasn't crowded so I got a seat. And I just had like some good energy. Came home and was going to do laundry but all the machine were taken, so I decided to do cardio instead. I'm going to change my workout focus a bit. To be slightly more cardio focused. Right now I'm tired and lazy after weights so I'm not doing much cardio at all. Now everytime I workout I'm going to run for 2 miles first. Yes, sorry Darrin the machines are in imperial at my gym as well as my condo. But yeah, 2 miles. I did it in just under 25mins today including my warm-up walking. I'm going to give myself a goal of trying to get to a certain weight. I won't share that with you though. Some of you may already know anyways. Nothing big actually. Just want to lose a bit, though if i gain it in muscle, thats fine. I almost bought 3 books yesterday. I'm starting to think I should have. A Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood. I read it in highschool and enjoyed it. And then A Brief History of Nearly Everything and another book on string theory which I can't recall the title of. I also bought some dvds this past friday. I wasn't in a very good mood. So I wanted to distract myself. And get myself something. And bestbuy is not far from work, so i figured why not. I got Hotel Rowanda which was really good. Shakespere in Love which was also really good and funny. Love Actually, which I've always liked. And American History X which I still have to watch. I also talked to a few friends and cousins that helped get me out of my funk. It was just one of those days and a lot of things building up. Sometimes you just want to give up. But even if I think that briefly, I know I won't. Maybe stubbornly so but.... :) There is no more interesting place of exploration in this world, than that of the mind. I remember once upon a time. I started to write. I don't recall why. I just got the idea in my head to write a story. I never got further than perhaps the first two or three lines. But I remember I was so proud of those lines. And I was so excited about. So excited.

A walk in the park.

I can't belive I'm starting to feel sick again. I felt something last week but it didn't stick. And I thought it was gone, but last few days I feel it again. And I was out today and though not feeling really sick, I could tell my energy level was not where it should be. Orange juice will be my friend for the next few days. Not a lot of pictures today. Just a few. I'll put more up next week. So Caitlin came down to NY this Sunday. Her, Mike, & I went for brunch and then walking around the city. It was a really nice day and went to a few places I hadn't been yet. Just walking around the parks And the around the city And a stop on Wall Street.

stopped in the rain

For you, a thousand times over. I finished The Kite Runner. While it was definitely a sad book at some points. And does make you angry at times as well. I did enjoy it. It really was very engaging. I still have a couple books on my shelf but...I think I want to start something of a different tone before moving to those...I'll go to the bookstore this weekend and see what I can scrounge up. For you, never again. My watch stopped working. That upset me. And then walking around without it I felt naked. Even though I take it off when I'm at home and while at work so I actually dont' wear it much overall. Still I had got use to it. I guess it was the rain on Tuesday. BUT then today I was looking at it again and...it was alive! Alive! :) Me = happy. For you, a thousand times over. Happy Birthday June! For you, never again. The BBQ is 1 week away! yay! I hope the organization works out...I have some doubts...but meh, at worst we have a bunch of friends hanging out at the park ordering pizza and ....well hopefully they aren't chasing me trying to get me wet again this year...and no shaving cream either haha. Should be some new faces at it too so thats always nice. For you, a thousand times over. I don't like to complain. And yet sometimes I feel like that is all I'm doing. I don't like.....so much that is going on in the world. What is the truth? This doesn't mean what you may think. Heck, if I read this later I might not remember what I truly meant...although perhaps the truth doesn't matter. For you... Time keeps on ticking ticking ticking...into the future... Out of 26...4 and out of those 4...zero.... For you... Sometimes it isn't enough.

Sick, San Francisco, Work, Rain, Tickets

Last night I woke up at 3 or so. I didn't feel well. I felt like throwing up and like something was in my throat or something. Not fun. I didn't like it. Not just the feeling of being sick, but when I get sick here, I feel more alone here. I have to take care of me. The situation isn't actually much different than waterloo...but I still had ppl to call upon there. I suppose I do here as well too...but it doesn't feel the same. I think i just didn't feel well cause I ate some junk food on an empty stomach, I should have something a bit proper beforehand... Afterwards, I sat online for a bit. Just randomly going here and there. And I stumbled upon some clips of America's Got Talent. Some of those ppl are really good! I think I'm going to try downloading a few episodes. Its restaurant week in NY. Tom and I went to lunch on Monday to a French place, Fleur de Sel or something like that. It was really good, I might go check out a few more restaurants....well probaby not. I'm short on time these days. It was interesting just talking to Tom casually, though the topic did turn to work for awhile. There is a conference in October that he and Brian are attending. He asked me if I'd like to go. I was like, definitely! The Conference is San Francisco, California! Woohoo! Well nothing is really certain yet. The conference isn't until October and things could change. Heck, maybe I won't even be here. But its certainly fun to think about. Its also...funny...since I had that dream about flying to San Fran and other places not too long ago. Yesterday was a good day at work too. I have a new project I'm working on and I wasn't quite sure about a few things. But I scheduled a meeting and discussed a few points. Well quite a few, ended up being a 90min meeting, but it was really productive and I feel great about this project now. Its awesome whenever everything just clicks and it all makes sense. So yep, looking forward to spec'ing it out now. I went to the Central Park last night. The NY Philharmonic was having a free concert performance. The park was packed. It was really cool. A nice atmosphere. Like everyone in the park was having a little picnic with some classical music playing in the background. I met some new ppl and they were all really cool and nice and friendly. And I ate a bunch of junk food so bad...more on that later. And while I got busy with talking for most the evening. I managed to stop and pay attention to listen to the songs I really liked. I suppose I shouldn't really call them songs but no matter. I guess technically, this would be the first concert I've ever attended. But I'd really call it more than a picnic than a concert, so thats still something I need to try in the future. I'll have to check whats coming up at Madison Square Garden. Side note: I've been really busy but I need to find time to do a few more things now that the weather is nice. I really want to go check out a few more museums too. Maybe starting with the Natural History Museum. It looked cool in the trailer for the Ben Stiller movie. After the concert there was a fireworks show. It wasn't very long but it was entertaining. I dont' remember the last time I saw fireworks. Anyhow, right after the fireworks, like literally 2mins after, Crazy Rain. Like heavy and fast rain. It was quite the scene. The ppl that run as quickly as they can, the ppl that grumble and slowly leave, and the ppl that enjoy it and start doing cartwheels. Let the stormy clouds chase Everyone from the place Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face I walk down the lane With a happy refrain Just singin', Singin' in the rain The rain was something fierce though, imagine this if you will, its 10pm+ its dark, we're in central park, its pouring, there are hundreds of ppl trying to leave, water is now up to and past my ankles in some areas, walking under bridges with people screaming like a highschool cafeteria when the lights go out, oh and some weirdos handing my love jesus flyers. hehe it was pretty funny. Not sure if I'd felt the same if alone though. I'd be like oh..kay.....maybe no more central park for awhile.... I just had a weird experience when buying my ticket for home. The price was 425$ which is high but what can you do, So I click purcahse, enter my cc info, click finalize purcahse, and then I'm given another screen, sorry due to demand yada yada yada, the price is 525$ I'm like....what? no, heck no. So I try again. And then....the price is 350? woohoo! Still pricy but oh well. I purchase it and I'm good to go. I wish I had time to really be at home. Last time I was home was when I went on my europe trip. But I don't really count that, cause half my family had already left and I was there for like no time at all. Just pack and go. And even less than that on the return. The last time I was really at home was like xmas. Even this trip its more about chores and stuff that needs to be done than seeing family. Inshallah I"ll have that oppurtunity in August during Alia's wedding. I've written plenty today. A lot more stuff on my mind...heh, I wish my mind would quiet down sometimes and stop thinking so much....well...I only partially think that.

enough

A few words of wisdom; Watch your thoughts they become words. Watch your words they become actions. Watch your actions they become habbits. Watch your habbits they become character. Good things happen, bad things happen. I know that. Life is not a movie, always having a happy ending. heh, movies dont even have happy endings all the time. Sometimes I do find it hard to look at the brightside of things. When the world is messed up, when I read something sad. I felt that today. I didn't feel optomistic or idealistic or anything. I was just like enough, I don't like this. All cause of this book I'm reading. Its highly engaging. And I'll finish it. But man, there is a lot going on I just don't like and it really made me want to just stop reading. When you go against the world, the world always wins. I do not accept this. Period. Thats all I'm going to say about that right now. And I was in a good mood earlier today too. After/during my workout that is. Feeling good about myself. Not that I'm in great shape or anything, sadly far from it. But I've been going consistently lately and even if there is no difference I like to think I can see a change. Now hopefully I'll see a change on the scale...and in the direction I want. Click. Delete. I think its about time. I find it cool that I look at movies and be like, I have been there. I recognize that. I walked there. I lived there. Spiderman 3 was filming right outside my office basically. But I don't just mean that, I mean its fun to see NY, and Toronto, and Amsterdam, and Switzerland, and Delhi, Hyderabad etc on the screen. And I don't say this to brag. I'm just saying its cool to me. And I hope I'll always remember to stop every once in awhile and look around and be like wow. Wherever I am. Because really......wow. Its very quiet sometimes. I hear the fan running. And my fingers typing. Which altogether dont' make very much noise. But thats not entirely what I mean. I mean, its very quiet sometimes. Momement. Present. Flashback. New Moment. The NY Philharmonic had a free performance on wednesday. It rained so I didn't go. They have another one his coming week. Wednesday again I believe. The last one I think. I'm looking forward to going. Its something I've wanted to do for awhile. I just hope work doesn't get in the way. sigh. enough. The bbq is 2 weeks away. We're up to about 26ppl coming. A couple will be no shows. but I think we actually ahve a few more ppl on the list that are comign and haven't replied so, the number looks good for now. Should be a lot of fun.

India Pictures!

This is long overdue. Some pictures from India from my trip back in May. I can't believe it was only 2 months ago I was there. It seems so long ago now. I want to go again. I miss everyone there. Maybe some afternoons when its super hot out and you're stuck inside...sometimes it can be boring. But being surrounded by so many nana's and nani's...its really cool. So much fun to just sit and listen to them talk. And I miss the kids. Kids are so much fun. Oh and the food too of course. mmm....I made keema myself tonight but its not at all the same. Although, I do make some good keema if I do say so myself haha. Anyhow, I was going to do pictures of India. But really, the ones I ended up choosing were all of family. But thats the most important part of India anyways. I was also going to post about some old memories, and things that happened in school, and random thoughts, and a few thoughts on trust, and a couple lyrics in my head...but I'll save all that for another time. And I only write it here as a reminder to myself. Though I'll have enough to write up next time regardless. Well without further rambling, which most of you have skipped to look at the pictures by now anyways. Here we go. Pictures! My Mom & I And again Cricket anyone? Umber posing Just fooling around Muneza and me Some of the kids Hi Maheen Umber posing again Paddy cake paddy cake, bakers man... I like this pic And this one This one too Myself, Umber, Farhan, Nazia My Mom wearing the mask I got her. I love natural shots. Azrari Nani feeding my Mom and Umber Some (yep only some) of my relatives including my Nanima on the right An old old picture with my Nana-jan. Can you guess which one I am?

For you, a thousand times over.

I had a phrase in my head this morning, while I was brushing my teeth. It kept repeating....I was going to put it down here but I can't remember what it was anymore... I started reading The Kite Runner today. Finally. Its been sitting on my window sill for ages. I brought it with me today and read a bit on the train to work. I only got a couple of chapters in but I'm really enjoying it so far. I believe everyone that told me I wouldn't be able to put it down. Tonights going to be a long night with work and stuf, but I'm looking forward to reading it some more when I get home. I know or at least am pretty sure, its not the happiest of endings. Not something I usually enjoy...perhaps I'll complain about it later. But not every story has a happening ending after all. C'est la vie. For you, a thousand times over. I'm stealing that from someone I know, I can't recall who though, it was someone's msn name. I need to temper that with trying to sleep early though. I can feel the onstages of a cold and this is definitely not the right time for it. heh, like there ever is one, but still. Looking for flights is so annoying. I'm thinking I may fly to Buffalo this time. That would save a decent amount. Its ridiculous flying to Toronto these days. I can fly to europe at the same prices. And I really don't like taking the bus. 13hrs on a bus is no fun, I could drive there in back in almost the same amt of time. I could rent a car...but driving through the middle of the night after work, by myself...not sure how my parents would like that...heh, not sure how I'd like that...still something to look into. 3028 4484 6248 interesting....sort of. I've started watching the show LOST. My favourite character is Hurley and then maybe Sawyer. Its alright. Nothing spectacular, but its alright. I get pulled in here and there a few times where I really want to know what happens next but overall its not a must see. Nothing is anymore. I watched a ton of it this last week though. I finished season 1 and the first 2 episodes of season 2 last night....late last night. I should have been a bit more productive. I got an ok amount done though. Bought another piece of furniture which was long overdue, did my groceries, went to the gym, went to the butcher, and got a bit of studying done. Its weird. I never like telling people how much or how little I work/study. I'm pretty sure I know why.... its just me being dumb. I took a break (not including the episodes of Lost) to watch pirates 2. It was alright. Its really not a movie on its own. Just a setup for pirates 3. Sometimes it really feels like for every step forward, you take 2 back. Or maybe 1 to the side.....but then...isn't that how to dance? Speaking of travelling. I had a dream the other day. Side note, I'm finding I'm remembering my dreams a bit more the last few days. Anyhow, Punit, Anojan, & I (and Xiao was there for bits) are at a travel agent. And we're lookng for a flight to Spain for a long weekend. Odd cause while depending on the price and travel time I'd definitely be up for such a thing Anojan and Punit would never be. But the cost of Spain was much too high. And the travel agent left the room and we start playing on the computer looking up prices ourselves. Somehow we get an alternative of Portugal for like 500$. And then we start looking at domestic flights for deals there. We find a flight to San Fran for $200. And I'm thinking man, they'll go for it cause its cheaper but I don't want to go to San Fran, sure my cousin is there...that would be cool. But I really wanted to go to Europe. And then we check some more and find a flight to Japan for 100euro (dont ask me why the currency flipped to euro, it just did). And the flight was to Osaka so i'm like cool, I can go visit Mu-sushi aka Masashi. But then everyone kind of disappeared and I started wanting to go visit a rainforest. and thats all i remember.......so no real point to me writing this i suppose, it just popped into my head. I remember another saying from something I read. It might fit better with some pictures I want to put up. Maybe not, I don't know. I haven't really picked out the pictures yet. But I like it. Its true. And I'll just put it up now. I always knew that, looking back at my tears would make me laugh, but I never thought that, looking back at my laughter would make me cry.

More on that later...

Dha dhin dha, dha dha dhin dha, ta dha dha, dhin ta, dhin ta Bonus points to anyone that figure out what song thats from, haha Yesterday for much of the day I was in a good mood. It was Wednesday. A nice short week after the long weekend, more on that later. But I went home and my internet wasn't working. And that really bothered me as I was looking forward to just sitting back relaxing and writing some emails to a few people and writing up a blog and just various other things. But whatever. I bought a case and new ear buds for my mp3 player so that consumed some time. And then I watched a couple movies while studying. Other stuff kind of ruined my mood as well but I won't get into that. I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do The killer in me is the killer in you On my previous post, not the Yay post (more on that later), the one about forgiveness, I got a lot of replies. No comments heh, but I mean a lot of ppl talked to me about their thoughts on the subject and it was really interesting. Opinions varied quite a bit as well. To religious opinion to not believing in religion, forgetting and moving on to never forgiving and all the grey between. A lot of people talked about how sometimes you just got to walk away from people. Thats something I've always had some trouble at. And have been working on since highschool. I let time pass and then give people another shot. And while thats not always a bad thing, time isn't always enough. Ppl have to show they deserve another shot sometimes. I'm not phrasing it right, but I don't care right now. Basically, people need to take initiative sometimes. Otherwise, I'm just wasting my time. And my time is not infinite. Sometimes I really think, whats the point. This long weekend was a lot of fun. My Mom and Nana visited. I saw Superman which was fun. Not a very huge climatic ending but it was fun seeing superman, be superman and save the day. And then I saw the Broadway show Dirty Rotten Scoundrels which was amazing! Its part of my top 2-3 favourite shows now. So good. And then later I saw the Devil wears prada. I had no idea what to expect since I wasn't familiar with the story but i liked it! hehe it made me want to go shopping. The rest of the weekend was spent eating and visiting relatives in NJ. That was pretty fun too. Met a lot of people I hadn't ever met before and you know, it really is a small world (more on that later, sorta). My Cousin Alia is getting married! Woot woot! is what pops in my head but thats not me, heh thats more a couple of my NY friends (more on that later). But yay! I'm looking forward to going back and seeing everyone! hehe, so much fun. too bad i'm not there so i can't really be involved in the helping out. But still, I'll get to see everyone in canada and bunch of extended family from all over. And its Alia's wedding. I don't really like weddings that much. But I love going to family weddings. My cousins aren't cousins. I grew up with them. They are brothers and sisters. heh, I can already see 3 of my aunts that are sisters talking and laughing in the house. They are each pretty loud, but put them together they exponentionally louder! You can't help but laugh and smile at their laughing....which you can hear from anywhere/everywhere. August 26th is less than 2 months away! Oh oh! And she'll be moving to Hartford, CT!! Thats where the guy lives. So near Caitlin and like only 2hrs away from me! Yay for Small worlds! I was thinking about this a couple days ago. The friends I have in NY are really different than the friends I had in Canada. They are all really cool people and I still have more close friends at home (which will always be canada) than here but the ppl here are pretty cool ppl. Its just kinda interesting how its different. Most of my friends in Canada are guys and semi extroverted, but not hugely. Most of my friends in NY are girls and they are fairly extroverted for the most part. Well thats a very broad generalization I guess thats not a fair description to either group. Its hard to explain....but theres no real reason too. As 99 red balloons go by... What else? yeah so I wasn't in a good mood. And when I woke up I still wasn't all that great. But somewhere while walking to work, between 24th and 25th street I think. I just looked up and saw...well a hazy sky. But felt the wind, and I looked a bit around. And just decided, I'm not going to bother with this anymore. I'm letting 1 thing bug me and I really shouldnt let it. Let me enjoy everything else. And I have. Its weird, I'm weird. Maybe somethings wrong with me to go up and down in mood so often. Smile you're on candid camera sorry, random thought. Pirates 2 comes out this week! I'm actually looking forward to that quite a bit. And I'm really looking forward to (as much as I enjoy spending time with ppl) some time for just me. I just want to sit and study and go to the gym. And just not have anything else to worry about for awhile. What else? More on that later...

Yay!!

I'm really tired. So I'll expand on this later...but I wanted to put something down. !!!!! Its huge news! I had a feeling something was going to happen. And it did! =) Yay! I can't say what the news is yet. But I am excited and happy. 2 more months and heeh, well I can't say much more without giving it away. but 2 more months! =) Yay! I wonder what it'll really be like. Makes me remember old memories too. heeh, i'll think about it later. right now i'm excited that its happening! and i'm tired. so must sleep. and this will be added to at some point.