Will you come to the edge?

8 days since my last blog. Thats quite some time. Well lets get to it then. The recap. Thursday and Friday last week were Thanksgiving holidays here. So I took half a day off on Wednesday. Leaving work at 12 I took the subway to Grand Central Station. From there I took a train to New Haven. From New Haven Caitlin picked me up and we start driving back to Canada, ~4pm. The weather was fine the whole way through until the last Toll about 20mins from the border. Snow. And then we cross the border and it starts snowing harder. We're like great, this doesn't help the Canadian image, hehe. Anyhow, she's taking me to Jenn's place in Hamilton where my parents will pick me up. Now she concentrating on the road cause of the snow, I'm fiddling with her Ipod (btw I decided I'm going to buy myself a video Ipod, well depending on a few factors to be decided next week...scary!). Anyhow, so I look up at the road and all of a sudden I'm like......wait a sec...yo...why are we coming up to Royal Windsor Drive? Hahaha we don't get lost at all the whole way until we get back to Canada! We are like 1 exit away from the one I'd take to get home now. I call up my parents and they tell me they are waiting at Jenns house. I tell them I'll be there shortly. haha. Too funny, it was a fun trip and fun hanging out and talking with Caitlin. I finally got home at about 130am. 9.5hr drive not bad, 13.5 hr trip total, meh what you gonna do? Thursday I hung out with family, it was great! Friday, I met up with 17! friends for dinner at Jack Astors, and then we went to Jessani's house and played ping pong (better luck next time jessani!) and board games, play station, raptors game watching, and just hanging out and talking. Didn't get home til near 4. Good times. Saturday more hanging out with family and went out with my cousin rasheed. lots of fun. Sunday it was time to go home. Left Hamilton close to 1230pm. Traffic at the border was insane! we didn't finish crossing til ~330pm or so! The drive after that was fine. It was Caitlin, Anojan, and I on the way back and we had some good talks, word games, and laughs. Got to Hartford around 1030, New Haven around 1130, train back to NY got us there at 2am and then subway back home at 230am. Long trip, but the weekend overall was just great. It was really really nice to see family and friends and be able to hang out with ppl. Just hanging out and talking and yeah, just a lot of fun. Next week will be a scary week at work. But I don't feel like discussing it. Some of you already know anyways. Maybe I'll talk about it next week. We'll see. Today was a great day at work. A lot of little work. A lot of delegation. And you know, the person delegating doesn't seem like he's doing a lot, but you'd be surprised. And I'm starting to sympathize with those waterloo Profs and TA's a bit more. My ukraine developer nitpicks about my specs all the time. And my Romanian developer, I keep on having to repeat things to him. But yeah today was fun, got a bunch of things accomplished and its a good week so far. I'm actually at work right now even though its 8pm. I just wanted to finish up some more stuff and then I'm heading down to Rockefeller centre for the Christmas Tree lighting. I'm getting fat! I really need to do cardio. And to start being more careful with the food that I'm eating. Not just for trying to be healthy though. I took some pictures on the weekend. I'll put them up....lets say friday. or Saturday. I got no plans for the weekend. Though I think i will either catch a show or go to a museum. I'm not sure yet. Actually, i need to do some prep for next week this weekend too. k, thats all for now. Come closer to the edge he said. We are afraid they said. Come closer to the edge he repeated. They came. He pushed. They started to fly.

Tis the story of a hurricane...

Alright, so quick recap. Tis the story of a hurricane........ Friday: Worked out, did some reading. Had a long argument with one of my friends. Right after that had a conversation with another friend that needed some advise or something, can't recall. Didn't end up sleeping til past 5-530am. save tonight, to fight the break of dawn, til tomorrow. Saturday: Don't know why but I woke up at like 9-930 after only 4hrs. Found out about some people meeting to play Catan in some cafe in Manhattan. I found it online, never talked to these ppl before but I like the game and I had nothing else to do so I decided to go. There were 8 ppl including myself. I was the youngest. It was a few ppl in late 20s, more in the 30s, and 1 guy that was very old. We broke into 2 games of 4 and played 2 games. I lost the 1st and won the 2nd. It was alright but I didn't 'click' with anyone, its just definitely not my crowd. tick tick tick tick tick ........tock After that, I went walking along to Times Square. Just kinda aimlessly looking around. Wandering in and out of stores. I checked out the movie times for Harry Potter around Times Sq. but it was pretty much sold out. So I just hopped on the subway back to Brooklyn and watched it in the theatre thats closer to the apartment. The movie was good. I liked it. Not as 'magical' as the first. It didn't have the same sense of wonder. But I like the story of the 4th book a lot and the movie was good. Dumbledore really bugged me though. I'm not liking him. I like the old one. Was feeling super tired by the end of the day and went to bed shortly after midnight. sometimes..... Sunday: Went down to SOHO and then walked all along down broadway to China Town. Walked all along Canal St. I bought my sister the wallet from Guess that she wanted. Walked around a bit more and then went home. Read for awhile, went to go workout. Thats all I can remember of sunday, nothing exciting. Oh, I also bought a duffle bag for myself to carry myself when travelling. My suitcases are too big for small trips. So much walking the last 2 days, my feet were really tired. I need new shoes. Maybe we are the lucky ones.... Monday: Work work work. Tuesday: Work ahhh hectic morning, work work, meeting meetnig. work. Talked to Khanh about driving back to Toronto for thanksgiving weekend. She's a bit concerned about the possibility of it snowing and her not having snow tires on her car. But I said I could drive. Worst comes to worst we could try taking the bus....if its not sold out.....but I think we'll drive. Hopefully. At first I was fine and didnt' really want to go back for thanksgiving. But now I do. I'd be disappointed if I couldn't. I'd make the most of it and enjoy myself here. But it would be more fun obviously to see family and friends. k, just got a call, gota bounce....secret wheelings and dealings. shh....

chatting is my life......

I was thinking to myself yesterday that Thursdays are the best day of the week. You get to look forward to it being Friday the next day. And Fridays signify the end of the week. So on thursday you can already look forward to the weekend. Then you look forward to it being pay day on Friday every other week. And then Thursday I can watch Survivor and Apprentice, OC, Smallville. Well I only watch the first 2 actually. But there is stuff to watch. Friday is nice, but I dont' really have weekend plans usually. So I think Thursday is nicer. That said, oh gosh am I glad its Friday. This has been a hectic week again. I like it that way, I like being kept busy and having a lot to do. Its fun and I enjoy the responsibility. But I had this 3+hr meeting on yahoo IM with ukraine guy today. It was highly productive which is great, but man oh man, thats way too long. particularly going non-stop. it just drained me of all my energy. i feel like i could go to sleep right now. Sigh, I can't continue this blog right now. I have to get some more things done at work. I'm gonna have to take some work home thsi weekend too. I need to update a spec for monday morning. well really sunday night i think.....hmm.... i want to see wicked....& harry potter.....any new yorkers out there reading this interested? i think i can talk anojan into potter.

a little bit of this & a little bit of that...

Today is Tuesday. This use to be my playground..... The weekend recap, lets see. Well lets not jump right into it. I was talking to my cousin Rasheed about Eid. And I was thinking of last Eid. I was in India and I went to so many peoples houses and everyone I ate biscuits and sweets, and had Chai and Shir Kurma and it was really nice. And while the Eid here wasn't bad. I was craving some Shir Kurma. Some Chai. Just being able to sit on a couch, in a house, and relax and be with people. All I want is a room somewhere Far away from the cold night air With one enormous chair Oh, wouldn't it be loverly ? Lots of chocolate for me to eat Lots of coal makin' lots of heat Warm face, warm hands, warm feet Oh, wouldn't it be loverly ? This friday I went to New Jersey. I have distant relatives there from my Nana's (maternal grandfather) side. I have never met them before. But it was really nice to meet them. And be with them and talk and it was nice. No one there was my age. Actually most ppl there were More than 3x my age! Wow eh? But I sat on a couch, and talked and listend to people. I had Chai. I had Shir Kurma, I slept on a real bed. I ate real food. And it was really nice, I enjoyed it. I came home last Saturday evening and went to bed early. Sunday, I had wanted to go shopping, to go to the theatre, to get a haircut. I was going to meet up with Caitlin. None of those things really happened. I did my groceries, I went to the gym. Thats about it. I was talking to some random stranger online (because thats what I do now, talk to strangers online). And they said something like "I don't need friends, friends are kind of a waste of time." To this I responded, "Well I won't try to change your mind, but your best friends, the friends you are truly close to, they are never a waste of time." They then said, "You only say that because you aren't really close to your family." Taken aback, I said, "I'm very close to my family and many of my cousins are like brothers and sisters to me too." Or something like that. They said "You don't Understand. I don't need anyone outside my immediate family. You only say that cause you aren't close to your family." There was no point arguing with this person. People don't want to hear another opinion or side sometimes. People are stubborn and close minded. That doesn't bother me. Too much. What bothers me, is somene making assumptions about me that doesnt' know me at all. In the end though, someone that doesn't know me, that I dont' nkow myself, who cares what they think. It shouldn't bother me. I dare you To come against me I dare you To defeat me I dare you To come for me You won't win Lies. Why do people lie? Like yeah people lie. But if you trust me, and have trusted me. And you know that I trust you. Why are you lying? Don't answer a question then. But lying directly to me. Thats just so wrong. It destroys trust. And its frustrating, saddening, upseting, etc. Particularly cause.....it so unnecessary. and its frustrating cause....I'm still always going to be here. I dare you To come against me I dare you To defeat me I dare you To conquer me You won't win I went to the gym yesterday and my arm started to hurt while i was doing some tricep excercise. A sudden sharp pain. I gave myself a break, tried it again and it was still hurting in a few movements. I'll give myself a break today and see how it goes tomorrow. Or maybe I'll still go today....well it looks like rain tonight so most likely I won't. It'll be laundry night. Its the eye of the tiger, its the heat of the night... Harry Potter opens this friday. I've tried to be excited about it. I want to be. But I'm not really. Its hard to get excited about things by yourself. Its funny cause people I've got interested in Harry Potter now seem more excited than I am. Still, there is always my backup plan... Something wicked this way comes.... I did have a conversation with Rasheed though that was interesting. Full of dreams and adventures and excitement. It was fun. And the day flew by today partly do to that. The rest cause I was in meeting after meeting for most of the day hehe. Side Note: Added Nailah's blog to the list of blogs on the side bar. I decided I will be going back for thanksgiving. I had thought I might stay in NY for the long weekend. But...no. I am going to go back. And then Ben excludes me from the party plans and emails that punk! :P In a moment....

Are you gonna go my way?

Althrough Ramadan I didn't have any interest in music really. Then now, I feel like I have songs popping into my head all the time. Makes one wonder. Loyalty. What is it? How do you define it? How loyal are you? Questions we must all ask each ourselves. and also questions we wonder in our relationships with others. Our perhaps we dont? Do we ignore it, forget so that we can feel safe in our decisions? And Safe from betrayals from others? What about loyalty with our companies? How much do they owe us and we owe them? We worked and they paid. Is that it or is there more? Personally, I do believe there is loyalty. Or at least I feel a sense of loyalty. Though you do have to becareful. You need to make sure that you don't let yourself be taken advantage. Loyalty that is not recognized and then taken advantage of is not something you should let stand. What about with people? If I have two friends. And friend A hurts friends B (not physically but you know). And I believe friend B is wrong. How should that effect my relationship with both? Does the degree matter? Well degree always matters. I don't know. I know for sure my relationship with friend B always becomes more cautious. And I dont trust them as much. And actually, I usually trust friend a more since they talked to me and trusted me with what is going on. I guess things balance out somehow. Though its not balance I seek. Whenever I start something new, I have large expectations for myself. Foolish aspirations perhaps. heh, I remember when I was young highschool kid and got my first job at SilverCity. I wanted to be the best and sell this much and get employee of the month. and yada yada yada. And very very quickly, I learned its not possible. I want to change the world. I believe I can make a difference. (Side note, we have to remember that doign so is a life long process, that continues in small measures. Not always a shot deal. but a constant act). Anyhow, what I'm getting to is that. My Auntie Trahowdy (spelling is so wrong there) told me before I left for NY. You can try to change the world. Take on the big city. But don't let the city change you. And really, I think its quite easy to become pessmistic, cynical. and uncaring. Quite easy. But in the end, I know who I am. I know what I believe. I know what I'm not. And even if I get down. (I'll get back up again, you ain't never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down but i get up again...haha). I know who I am. And in the end, we are who we choose to be. I was born long ago I am the chosen I'm the one I have come to save the day And I won't leave until I'm done So that's why you've got to try You got to breath and have some fun Though I'm not paid I play this game And I won't stop until I'm done But what I really want to know is Are you gonna go my way? And I got to got to know I don't know why we always cry This we must leave and get undone We must engage and rearrange And turn this planet back to one So tell me why we got to die And kill each other one by one We've got to love and rub-a-dub We've got to dance and be in love But what I really want to know is Are you gonna go my way? And I got to got to know Are you gonna go my way? 'Cause baby I got to know Yeah

Do you believe?

we're getting deeper and deeper....til i can...deeper and deeper....till i can't... I'm so tired right now. Its not easy keeping in touch with people. I delete 17 contacts off my msn list this past week. Just ppl that I don't talk to anymore. That don't talk to me. Aren't important in my life or don't care about me. Its kind of sad. But I know I've made an effort and at some point its just like thats enough. Its not good to keep hurting oneself or bring. Even today, there a few different ppl I tried to talk to. None very talkative. Oh well. My feet hurt. So I've been talking to my cousin Rasheed a lot lately. About a lot of things. Life, religion, school, movies, pizza, bunch of things. I'm enjoying it. I wish I could have conversations like that with more people. But unfortunately with a lot of people its just hey, whatsup. hows it going. And they don't care to take it past the superficial. So many questions in life. One day. Liars. Why do people lie. Well I know why ppl lie in some regards. But why lie about who you are? Why be fake? Why gain someones trust and feed them lies about who you are? Do you think trust can be so easily gained back? Foolish peoples. I'm going to go to a conference tomorrow afternoon. Should be interesting. I'm getting contacted about a few jobs. Its interesting. Perhaps things I should look into further. The emailed ones, I'll probably ignore. The one my friend told me about, that I'll keep my eye on. Though nothing to do on that for at least another month or so. Anyone remember the book flowers for algernon? I'm currently still reading The Historian (great read so far), The Virgins Knot (don't say taubah taubah [if thats how you spell it]) its for my online book my club, and The Kite Runner which Sarita was recommending to me. My knee hurts. I can't continue, too tired. Didn't get so much done this evening...sigh. so tired. my eyes are watering from yawning....g'nite all. One man with a belief is stronger than 99 men with interest.

Eid Mubarak

First, I want to thank all of you that wished me a happy birthday. Really, I never ask for gifts. I just kind of hope people remember me. And each person that contacted me, through im, email, or phone did make me feel happy. Thank you. I admit, when I went to bed last night though, I wasn't in the greatest of moods. But I woke up today. And I felt fine, better than fine. I was in a good mood. And I'm happy its Eid. And yah I'm just in a good mood. I had more to write, but I've been intrupted serveral times for various reasons. I am at work. So thats all there is today. Eid Mubarak everyone. Take care.

Its the most wonderful time of the year...

Hey its your bday, going to party like its....just a regular day. Yes, its my birthday today. I'm 24. Some people remembered. Some people didnt. Its normal. A few people have been asking me what I'll be doing tonight. The answer? dun dun da...Nothing! I'l have iftar at my desk like usual. Go back to work after that. Probably go to the gym cause I was lazy and didn't go yesterday. Maybe grab some food on the way home. Probably eat it in bed hopnig my internet connection is up. And maybe read a bit. I'm getting behind in my readnig. So yeah, just a regular day. I didn't really do much for my last bday. I was in India so it was only me and Karthik. His bday is coming up soon. The 11th or 15th I think. The year before that? Hmm..can't recall. Probably busy with midterms. I thought about bringing in something to work. But since I'm fasting, didn't seem to make much sense. Its weird. Life. Tomorrow could very well be Eid. I feel like I should be really happy, thats its my bday. That I should want to do stuff and celebrate and whatever. And well 1 its not really possible. 2 I also feel like I don't care. Not really. This post sounds depressing to me. I'm not depressed. Each bday message and card i received made me smile. =) Its the most wonderful time of the year. but then, its just an Ordinary day.