Almost time to go home!

Less than 1 hr to go for work! And then, AND THEN! I'm free. Sort of. I have Thursday off and I'm driving home to Mississauga! Yay! Friday I'm working from home which shouldn't be too bad. The weekend is naturally off. And Monday I drive back to NYC. Its a short break for sure. But it'll be nice to see my friends. And it'll really be nice to just have a bit of a break from work. =)

Good deeds spread and multiply. =)

I bought lunch and its terrible. :( So I just bought a snack. Oatmeal raisin cookie, m&ms and some milk. I think that should be filling enough. Yesterday I was considering giving some money towards a good cause. I hesitated for a bit. I'm not sure why, just stupidness on my part really. But I did it. And b/c I did my co-worker was inspired to match my donation. And thats really cool. Good deeds spread and multiply. =) My parents called me, several times. They arrived safetly and sound for Hajj. My sister and nana likewise arrived safetly in Houston for their trip. And what about me? Well.....at least its Friday. I'm going to go to Jersey Gardens tomorrow for some shopping. Nothing much planned for the rest of the weekend except working on applications. Mondays a holiday, yay! Working tuesday and wednesday. Then Thursday I have off! I'm going to drive back to Canada. And then work remotely on Friday. I get the weekend off and then drive back to NY on the 1st. Hectic and short. But it'll be nice to go home and see my friends again. I'm thinking of driving back after work on Wednesday but its an 8-9hr drive. Which means if theres not much traffic....leaving around 8pm i'd get there at 4-5am....not sure if I want to be driving that late at night....its tiring and I'll be by myself.....yeah.....most likely I'll leave Thursday. hmm.......that was a lot of milk.....I feel sleepy now....I need to start going to bed earlier again. I've been sleeping at 2-230am or so lately.....I need to get that at least closer to 1. I finished reformatting my computer! Now things are working the way they should. Just have to reinstall a few more things and then finally maybe I can put up some pics again!

I can do anything.

I saw this in a friends post on facebook. Its for couples. I think its funny. Of course since I'm alone, I wouldn't need the outer gloves, I'd just be holding my own hand in the middle glove. :S I was going to make a post yesterday. I'm backlogged on blogging and putting up pictures. But my laptop is killing me. I got some spyware or adware or whatever and despite numerous efforts it still persists. And its really preventing me from doing a lot on my laptop. So this weekend, well this weekend I'm going to go down to CT to visit my friend Caitlin and my cousin Alia. But when I'm back sunday hopefully I can just backup everything important, reformat, and reinstall everything. Hopefully it goes well b/c man its a pain. So my parents are going to Hajj. And they've been doing all this stuff like adding me to their bank accounts. Making their wills, adding me to the safety deposit boxes. Tell me about their insurance papers. To look after my sister, etc etc etc. Its weird. I listen b/c its important for me to know just in case but I really can't imagine such things occuring. Its weird. But it does make me stop and think. Of how I would handle things. How so much would truly be on my shoulders. To be honest, I am confident I could handle it though. But inshallah, I won't have to worry about such things for many decades yet to come. Ok, so financial documents for mba schools, check. Transcripts requested check. Graduation confirmation letters requested, check. Recommenders asked, check. Applications filled in, easy parts, check. Applications filled in harder parts.....um....in progress. Essays.......ack! sigh....I need to step it up on this. Earlier this week, Wednesday I think it was. I got out of the F-Train and out of the subway station on 23rd onto the street first! hehe, thats like being first out and into the parking lot of any Go-Train station :P Going back to the topic of expectations. I've for the most part always felt like I could do anything. If I work at it, have the dedication, put forth the effort I could do anything I wanted. Of course there are limitations now. Like, I don't like hockey, never have (I know I'm canadian but still! hockey blah). But still as a child I always felt that if I really wanted to, I could practise, train, and I could do it. And heck I can't even skate but I never felt I couldn't do it if thats what I really wanted (though of course for certain things the time has passed now). This is more of a long term confidence mind you. In the short term, I can be less optimistic. It fluctuates I guess.....I'm odd. Anyhow, while there is this inner confidence. Outwardly, I still worry. I downplay things. I do enjoy encouragement. It does help. But sometimes ppl just have these expectations of me. And its like.....um....ok, inshallah. But its just blind faith that I can do it, and do it well. I worry about being embarrassed by failing but I never worry about being a failure. This is partly why I don't like ppl knowing hard much or little I work or try. I know in the long run it will work out. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I just felt like writing it I suppose. I think I need to display that faith in myself more outwardly. Not worry about failing or being embarassed or anything b/c the ppl that believe in me have never waivered in that. During my highs or lows. And also whenever I truly feel confident anything, I usually do quite well. I can do anything.

Here it goes again

Just when you think you're in control, just when you think you've got a hold, just when you get on a roll, here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again. I should have known, should have known, should have known again, but here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again. I am a fan of Survivor, Greys Anatomy, OC, and Smallville. These all air on Thursdays. Today is Thursday. Yay!!!!!!!!!! haha. While I'm talking about shows, I have to say Heroes is awesome! For those of you watching, you know what I'm talking about. Those of you not watching. Watch it, give it til ep 3. And you shall be hooked! Oh, And I have discovered I too have a super power! I was watching Hiro. And I decided to try it out. So I checked the time, I closed my eyes, I squinted and grinned and concentrated as hard as I could. And then I opened my eyes and voila! 2 secs into the future!! I did it! haha ok, that was a lame joke....oh well. Since today is Thursday, that means tomorrow is Friday! And I'm flying back home! Yay!! My parents are going for Hajj and they wanted me to come down before they leave. I always seem to book the ticket and not really feel any excitement or anything about returning. UNTIL the time draws near. And now I'm excited. I haven't been home in about 4 months. It'll be nice to be home and sleep in my home room/bed and see my family and cousins. It'll be very quick and hectic though. I'm flying in Friday night and then I'm going to take dads minivan and drive back to nyc on sunday leaving around noon. So I'm really barely home for 1.5 days. But taking the car will be nice. I haven't driven in ages. I miss it! Plus I'll likely return back in December for new years to hang out with friends so that saves the cost of flying. And then I'll return back on MLK weekend to give the car back when they return and I'll just fly back to nyc then. It works out well enough. Hopefully theres not too much traffic and no snow. Its an 8+hr drive and I dont' want it to be longer than it needs to be.....hopefully its not too boring either, i'll be driving be myself. :( Anyone want to go on a roadtrip to canada? Taking this from Sarah's blog. 1) One book that changed your life? Um...nothing really changed my life. Reading The Alchemist changed my taste in reading a bit though. 2) One book that you’ve read more than once: I've read most of my books more than once. The last book I read again was A Handmaids Tale. hehe, do the Where's Waldo books count? 3) One book you’d want on a desert island Actually, I'd want a journal so I can do some writing. 4) One book that made you laugh Harry Potter, Archie Comics, Life of Pi, I know there was something else recently but I can't recall at the moment. 5) One book that made you cry Honestly, nothing has really made me cry, but some have made me quite sad, even make me almost stop reading at times. The Kite Runner, One More Day 6) One book that you wish had been written: The Life and Times of Ahmed Siddiqui from 1981 to present, with future outlook and introduction by Ahmed Siddiqui. :P I'm telling, its a bestseller waiting to happen! 7) One book that you wish had never been written: The Great Gatsby. I loathed reading this book in highschool. Not a single character in it appealed to me. 8) One book you’re currently reading: Wicked, A short history of nearly everything, The three musketeers 9) One book you’ve been meaning to read: Some stuff by Ray Bradbury, Paulo Coehlo, Dickins, The Namesake, Q&A, The death of superman. 10) Now tag five people...

Prison

Prison, not always a small room with bar walls in which someone locks another. There are many different prisons. Possibly the hardest prison to escape it the one in which we trap ourselves. Even when we realize it, breaking free is difficult. The walls of desire, of fear, of habit, of desperation are thick and hard. Unfortunately Mama Jenn's blog is dead so I removed that. But Mister Farsh and Miss Cellardoor's blogs have been added. Also added a link to the site feed atom in the bottom of the right hand column as per a few of your requests. I haven't tested it but...I'll assume it works cause I wont' be fixing it soon if it doesnt. So whats been happening lately, I've been busy lately and haven't had the time to blog. Shahzad was down a few weeks ago for business. Anojan & I met up with him for dinner at the Afghan Kebab House. Very good. Caitlin and Mike came down a couple weeks ago. I put up pics of that earlier. Darrin & Jenn came down from Canada for the long weekend. And stayed til Thursday. That was fun. Went shopping and ate out quite a bit. IHOP, Afghan, Thai, Pizza, Indian, Chinese, I forget what else. And we saw the show Altar Boyz. It was good. Not great, but definitely good. I narrowed the my list of mba schools to 8. Toronto, Western, Michigan (ross), Austin Texas, UCLA, USC, Indiana, and Arizona (Carey). But in the end I decided against Indiana and Arizona and went with the first 6. I do admit, I'm worried. I feel I'm reaching to varying degrees with all of these schools. None are really a 'safe school' or fallback. I tell myself that hey, I should reach. If it doesn't work out, I'll try some others next year and thats fine. I can work another year. And yes, thats not bad. But its definitely not preferred. And I rather go with confidence. As I said in an earlier post, for some reason I felt really confident when I went to write the gmat. And it turned out great. I dont' want to give myself excuses. Inshallah, I'll get in to all and have to choose where I want to go. I'm going to get in. And next year at this time I'll be worrying about final projects and exams and ready to go on winter break. And I'm looking forward to that. I'm tired of NY. I want a change. Have I been here 1.5 years already, or just about. How did that happen. I've gained a ton. I've experienced a lot. In fact if not for a lot of it, I wouldn't think I have any chance at some of these schools. Still. At times, I think to myself what is the point of this. This is ridiculous. Why am I here. And I don't mean what is my purpose in life or anything at that level. I just mean, why am I here, is this what I want. old man: You can have anything you want in life. young man: No, you can't. Only some people get what they want. old man: Those are the ones that come and get it. I'm going home on Friday. I'll fly back on Friday night. Hang out saturday. Sunday I drive home. It'll be hectic, but otherwise I wont' see my family at all for the rest of the year. And its been about 4 months since I last saw them. I'm going to head back home again later in December. But I'll just hang out with friends then. As my parents will be gone for Hajj and my sister and Nana are going to Houston. I was telling one of my friends its ironically and sadly funny. I haven't been home for Eid in I don't know how long and now that I will be. My family won't. I'm a bit hungry. I think I'll go eat some raisins. I think I have raisins...I wonder how long raisins last for... "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light , not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make and manifest the glory of god that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson