Prison

Prison, not always a small room with bar walls in which someone locks another. There are many different prisons. Possibly the hardest prison to escape it the one in which we trap ourselves. Even when we realize it, breaking free is difficult. The walls of desire, of fear, of habit, of desperation are thick and hard. Unfortunately Mama Jenn's blog is dead so I removed that. But Mister Farsh and Miss Cellardoor's blogs have been added. Also added a link to the site feed atom in the bottom of the right hand column as per a few of your requests. I haven't tested it but...I'll assume it works cause I wont' be fixing it soon if it doesnt. So whats been happening lately, I've been busy lately and haven't had the time to blog. Shahzad was down a few weeks ago for business. Anojan & I met up with him for dinner at the Afghan Kebab House. Very good. Caitlin and Mike came down a couple weeks ago. I put up pics of that earlier. Darrin & Jenn came down from Canada for the long weekend. And stayed til Thursday. That was fun. Went shopping and ate out quite a bit. IHOP, Afghan, Thai, Pizza, Indian, Chinese, I forget what else. And we saw the show Altar Boyz. It was good. Not great, but definitely good. I narrowed the my list of mba schools to 8. Toronto, Western, Michigan (ross), Austin Texas, UCLA, USC, Indiana, and Arizona (Carey). But in the end I decided against Indiana and Arizona and went with the first 6. I do admit, I'm worried. I feel I'm reaching to varying degrees with all of these schools. None are really a 'safe school' or fallback. I tell myself that hey, I should reach. If it doesn't work out, I'll try some others next year and thats fine. I can work another year. And yes, thats not bad. But its definitely not preferred. And I rather go with confidence. As I said in an earlier post, for some reason I felt really confident when I went to write the gmat. And it turned out great. I dont' want to give myself excuses. Inshallah, I'll get in to all and have to choose where I want to go. I'm going to get in. And next year at this time I'll be worrying about final projects and exams and ready to go on winter break. And I'm looking forward to that. I'm tired of NY. I want a change. Have I been here 1.5 years already, or just about. How did that happen. I've gained a ton. I've experienced a lot. In fact if not for a lot of it, I wouldn't think I have any chance at some of these schools. Still. At times, I think to myself what is the point of this. This is ridiculous. Why am I here. And I don't mean what is my purpose in life or anything at that level. I just mean, why am I here, is this what I want. old man: You can have anything you want in life. young man: No, you can't. Only some people get what they want. old man: Those are the ones that come and get it. I'm going home on Friday. I'll fly back on Friday night. Hang out saturday. Sunday I drive home. It'll be hectic, but otherwise I wont' see my family at all for the rest of the year. And its been about 4 months since I last saw them. I'm going to head back home again later in December. But I'll just hang out with friends then. As my parents will be gone for Hajj and my sister and Nana are going to Houston. I was telling one of my friends its ironically and sadly funny. I haven't been home for Eid in I don't know how long and now that I will be. My family won't. I'm a bit hungry. I think I'll go eat some raisins. I think I have raisins...I wonder how long raisins last for... "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light , not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make and manifest the glory of god that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson