Monday, October 17, 2005

For the moment.

Its about 3.5 years ago. Co-op term #2. (Side Note: Wow thats a long time ago. I'm getting old). Ken, Vivian, and I are sitting in Ken's room in the basement of the 338 Lester house. We are watching k3g, aka Khabi Khusi Khabi gham. Sometimes happiness, sometimes sadness. Hmm...did Lam and Darrin ever end up watching that? I wonder...anyhow.

We three sit there, intently munching on popcorn and watching the movie. Ken is pretty engrossed. He doesn't hear mine or vivians comments while we watch. A particularly scence is coming up. I've seen the movie before, so I know this. (Though which scene it was I can't recall). I tell Vivian:

Me: Get ready to pause the movie.

Viv: What? Why?
Me: So I can explain to Ken whats happening.
Viv: He seems fine, he hasn't said anything. And I think I get it.
Me: No, I think I need to explain this.

Viv: But he would just say something.

Then Ken goes:
Ken: Hey, what just happened? hey mohammed, can tell me what they're doing?
Viv: hahaha
Me: ahaha I told you!
Viv: how did you know?

Ken: huh?
Me: just had a hunch.


flash forward to today. I don't know why I'm remembering that particular memory right now. Those types of things, they seem a lifetime ago. I don't even recall the last time I had a real conversation with either of those either. Online, let alone in person. So many things feel such a long time ago. I miss school. I know I should enjoy all parts of life. Every moment. And I believe looking back you do. You almost (almost but not entirely) always remember only the good times. But there are times, where I wish i could just jump forward 5 years in my life. But you can never get to where you want to be without the struggle.

And then I could have the old discussion about would I be the person I will be in 5 years w/o the struggle, just as would I be the person I am now w/o the struggles I had. But then I could also say, I can imagine the person I want to be, i can't imagine what other struggles I may encounter. But then you can't never anticipate what happens in life. Oh gosh, you can never tell. But whatever. For now, I have some water by my left. And some chocolate at my right :)
and a story infront of me in which to lose myself for the rest of the night

For the moment, I am content.

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